The Lexicon Mausoleum

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 04:08:05 GMT

It's been a while since I last watched kids' morning cartoons, so can someone explain to me why the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are in the future now?

Rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 10:04:57 GMT

Yeah so I haven't checked on LiveJournal in a long time. Some of you might be curious as to where I've been in the past year. (Those of you who remember me at all D:) But yes, I still exist, and I'm quite well. OC has been bullying me to return to the internets.

I clocked university last year (the end guy was hard) but it turns out that teaching is the most horrid, draining, frustrating and unrewarding occupation in the history of man. So I'm back in study again to get a masters in Editing. The plan is to get a foot in the door of the publishing industry, which is pretty much the only way to get published these days. That's going well so far (I've been correcting my tutor on her grammar, occasionally)

As far as publishing goes, I'm on the right track. Had a few small successes. I'm not in line for a Pulitzer, yet, but I haven't had the kind of failure that makes me think I should have been a plumber instead. Working and studying is draining, so writing is slow, but I'm learning heaps about how good editing can turn decent writing into actually-pretty-good writing.

So yeah, I'm here, you can call off the search party!

Sat, 19 Jan 2008 03:17:53 GMT

What's LiveJournal?

Mon, 02 Jul 2007 13:10:39 GMT

I've been lurking at the forums again, and all I can see is [BANNED] [BANNED] [BANNED]

Has Sunstorm just been banning EVERYONE or what?

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 10:34:07 GMT

Am I the only one who can't watch Stuart Little anymore without imagining Stuart's dad calling him an idiot and demanding that it's never lupus?

How to draw!

Wed, 30 May 2007 12:09:56 GMT

I'm not great at drawing, but after seeing this video I've improved my skills. It's concise and informative... check it out!

Fri, 11 May 2007 10:22:15 GMT

Okay so some of you have been wondering what's happened to me lately. And by some of you, I mean Sipp.

I've been writing a lot since I moved into my own pad. Just not on fanfics. But I've started writing Sonic stuff again. Right now I'm remaking this old quasi-Biblical Knuckles story called Vox Populi. Watch out for it sometime between now and the end of the world!

Also, I've been chasing mice out of my house. Rest assured that everything you have come to know about mice is wrong. They hate cheese (thanks to Laura for that nugget of wisdom) and prefer sugary biscuits. And they're not intelligent at all, they are in fact mindblowingly stupid enough to fall for my traps again and again and again. The only reason I have to trap them so many times is because they're so fast that they escape!

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 12:33:55 GMT

I can't decide if this is really morbid, or OMGSOCUTESIE!!1. It's like the perfect merge of the two. Either way it's really well done.

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 11:59:24 GMT

Living in your own place definitely has its advantages, but there are disadvantages too.

I had my first robbery today.

It must have been kids because they came in while I was at work and took everything of value that a kid can hide in his little pants. Including my expensive camcorder and MP3 player.

Now I have to deal with cops and stuff D: I hope the little idiots go to a local pawn shop to sell off their haul because then I might be able to get some of my stuff back. Apart from that I'm not under any illusion that there's anything the authorities can do for me. It's essentially a small-time case and you can't track hooligans. I'm just rattled and peeved off. The money is one thing, but I'm more upset about the loss of a tape of great personal value that I left in the camcorder and, regardless of anything, there's no chance I'll see it again.

Sucks.

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 09:01:13 GMT

The video at the end of the internet

Wed, 03 Jan 2007 14:24:32 GMT

Well, I finally got around to signing up for the new NetRaptor board, and after being shredded for my very first post I suddenly remembered why I stopped posting there. Ah well.

In other news, go to this site and download everything that you see. They are remixed versions of the Sonic 3 & Knux tunes and they are seriously wicked awesome to the max. I've been playing them all on loop all day.

Mon, 25 Dec 2006 13:31:38 GMT

Oh, the mail is here!

Aha, my subscription of short stories. This will keep me occupied for a while.

Hey what... what's this in the index? I see a familiar name.

Whoa, holy crap! That's me!

I'm published!

omg!

Sun, 24 Dec 2006 13:50:14 GMT

Happy Christmas!

Wow, another year.

The old internet is dead

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 07:49:41 GMT

The quasi-death of NetRaptor.org, which was my internet home for years and years, has got me thinking about something sad and slightly unnerving:

The old internet is dead.

Remember the old internet? I'm talking about when the internet was fresh and new, everyone was starting off on the same foot, and everyone was making websites. Remember Geocities, Tripod and Xoom? Remember learning HTML, about scripts, frames and hypertext? Millions of amateur websites, with embedded MIDIs and (to the chagrin of dial-up users) WAV sounds, showcasing their individual knowledge of pop culture and cult phenomena to fanbases worldwide, with fanfics and fanart and MIDI collections and quizzes and animated GIFs. Do you remember?

Did you notice when it died? Like a billion voices all crying out at once and then falling into dead silence? Did you hear them?

There are no more little websites - some of them, just a few, grew into megawebsites that absorbed entire fanbases. The others just died. MP3 killed the MIDI, then Flash killed the animated GIF, then Google killed the webring. The internet, like any Anarchy, has been dominated and enslaved by the powerful few. Those resistant to the new order - like NetRaptor.org - have been banished to the most painful demise... death by indifference. Nobody needs or wants it. Nobody cares.

If you have fanfics, you don't submit them to some kid's site, you submit them to Fanfiction.net. If you have something to say, you don't go to Geocities and learn HTML and manufacture a website, you all just get Myspace profiles. You don't surf the little cult communities to find clips of your favourite TV shows, you just slink over to YouTube and get them all in one place.

It's funny how similar it is to the big bang - for a while, the universe is a homogenous soup of little particles swirling about in equal measure. Then it all cools and contracts and forms massive objects, suns and planets, floating in nothingness. You can't just 'surf' the internet anymore. It's not big enough; it's contracted. Now all the content on the net has been swallowed by like a dozen megawebsites, Wikipedia and Myspace and LiveJournal and YouTube. Now I only have about three websites that I ever visit, because they serve all my needs. Three websites that do everything that a million once did.

A little sad, but that's life. Big things generate gravity. You either submit to gravity's pull or you float away into space and die. Such is everything.

Wed, 22 Nov 2006 05:48:50 GMT

New Line Cinema, in all their wisdom, have fired Peter Jackson from the upcoming adaptation of The Hobbit.

Wow, great move, guys! That guy was just weighing you down!

Coming soon to a theatre near you: Paul W.S. Anderson's The Hobbit! And the sequal Alien vs Hobbit.

The Shaxmarillion

Sat, 18 Nov 2006 14:25:48 GMT

I'm writing a Shaxmarillion... that is, an encyclopedia for my fanfic stuff. Check it out if you're interested. As you can obviously tell from my outrageously witty title, I was inspired by all the stuff Tolkien did to background his universe, and I've tried my hand at sketching maps and stuff. It's a fun side-project for writers' block.

This is as much for my benefit as anything. Since I wrote Awakening I've found that my Mobius is becoming bigger and more sprawling than even I can handle, so documenting it all helps. I've put it online for your reading pleasure as well because I know there's nothing a fanfic reader enjoys more than reams of deep political jargon. Or maybe that's just me.

Right now it just glosses over the geography of some of the main locations. I'm also trying to piece together a rough historical timeline and an analysis of some of the world powers. I'll just keep this as a side-project that I'll add to whenever something occurs to me.

Fri, 17 Nov 2006 07:38:38 GMT

Just call me Bananaman.

Because I'm peeling D:

Mon, 13 Nov 2006 04:45:12 GMT

Argh. How long does it typically take sunburn to heal? Because I've had the worst sunburn of my entire life for three days now. It's over my entire back and it hurts whenever I do anything at all. I have to sleep with my face in the pillow.

Stupid lawnmowing.

Sat, 28 Oct 2006 14:45:10 GMT

This is for Sunstorm or NetRaptor or anyone who might have some knowledge in the matter.

Is it possible to hack into the fanfics section just to change my handle? I just thought it's a pity to lose all my reviews just for a name-change.

Six Word Fiction

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 08:56:17 GMT

Ernest Hemingway once wrote a short story that was only six words long, and reportedly he considered it his best work:

"For sale: baby shoes, never worn."

Recently, Wired Magazine did this thing where they asked a whole bunch of well-known science fiction and fantasy writers to write their own six-word story. Awesomeness ensued:

Failed SAT. Lost scholarship. Invented rocket.
- William Shatner

Computer, did we bring batteries? Computer?
- Eileen Gunn

Vacuum collision. Orbits diverge. Farewell, love.
- David Brin

Gown Removed Carelessly. Head, less so.
- Joss Whedon

Automobile warranty expires. So does engine.
- Stan Lee

Machine. Unexpectedly, I’d invented a time
- Alan Moore

Longed for him. Got him. Shit.
- Margaret Atwood

His penis snapped off; he’s pregnant!
- Rudy Rucker

From torched skyscrapers, men grew wings.
- Gregory Maguire

Internet “wakes up?” Ridicu
-no carrier.
- Charles Stross

With bloody hands, I say good-bye.
- Frank Miller

Wasted Day. Wasted life. Dessert, please.
- Steven Meretzky

“Cellar?” “Gate to, uh … hell, actually.”
- Ronald D. Moore

Epitaph: Foolish humans, never escaped Earth.
- Vernor Vinge

It cost too much, staying human.
- Bruce Sterling

We kissed. She melted. Mop please!
- James Patrick Kelly

It’s behind you! Hurry before it
- Rockne S. O’Bannon

I’m your future, child. Don’t cry.
- Stephen Baxter

1940: Young Hitler! Such a Cantor!
- Michael Moorcock

Lie detector eyeglasses perfected: Civilization collapses.
- Richard Powers

I’m dead. I’ve missed you. Kiss … ?
- Neil Gaiman

The baby’s blood type? Human, mostly.
- Orson Scott Card

Kirby had never eaten toes before.
- Kevin Smith

Rained, rained, rained, and never stopped.
- Howard Waldrop

To save humankind he died again.
- Ben Bova

We went solar; sun went nova.
- Ken Macleod

Husband, transgenic mistress; wife: “You cow!”
- Paul Di Filippo

“I couldn’t believe she’d shoot me.”
- Howard Chaykin

Don’t marry her. Buy a house.
- Stephen R. Donaldson

Broken heart, 45, WLTM disabled man.
- Mark Millar

TIME MACHINE REACHES FUTURE!!! … nobody there …
- Harry Harrison

Tick tock tick tock tick tick.
- Neal Stephenson

Easy. Just touch the match to
- Ursula K. Le Guin

New genes demand expression -- third eye.
- Greg Bear

K.I.A. Baghdad, Aged 18 - Closed Casket
- Richard K. Morgan

WORLD'S END. Sic transit gloria Monday.
- Gregory Benford

Epitaph: He shouldn't have fed it.
- Brian Herbert

Batman Sues Batsignal: Demands Trademark Royalties.
- Cory Doctorrow

Heaven falls. Details at eleven.
- Robert Jordan

Bush told the truth. Hell froze.
- William Gibson

Wasted day. Wasted life. Dessert, please.
- Steven Meretzky

Whorl. Help! I'm caught in a time
- Darren Aronofsky and Ari Handel

Nevertheless, he tried a third time.
- James P. Blaylock

God to Earth: “Cry more, noobs!”
- Marc Laidlaw

Help! Trapped in a text adventure!
- Marc Laidlaw

Thought I was right. I wasn't.
- Graeme Gibson

Lost, then found. Too bad.
- Graeme Gibson

Three to Iraq. One came back.
- Graeme Gibson

Rapture postponed. Ark demanded! Which one?
- David Brin

Dinosaurs return. Want their oil back.
- David Brin

Bang postponed. Not Big enough. Reboot.
- David Brin

Temporal recursion. I'm dad and mom?
- David Brin

Time Avenger's mistaken! It wasn't me...
- David Brin

Democracy postponed. Whence franchise? Ask Diebold...
- David Brin

Cyborg seeks egg donor, object ___.
- David Brin

Deadline postponed. Five words enough...?
- David Brin

Metrosexuals notwithstanding, quiche still lacks something.
- David Brin

Brevity’s virtue? Wired saves adspace. Subscribe!
- David Brin

Death postponed. Metastasized cells got organized.
- David Brin

Microsoft gave us Word. Fiat lux?
- David Brin

Mind of its own. Damn lawnmower.
- David Brin

Singularity postponed. Datum missing. Query Godoogle?
- David Brin

Please, this is everything, I swear.
- Orson Scott Card

I saw, darling, but do lie.
- Orson Scott Card

Osama’s time machine: President Gore concerned.
- Charles Stross

Sum of all fears: AND patented.
- Charles Stross

Ships fire; princess weeps, between stars.
- Charles Stross

Mozilla devastates Redmond, Google’s nuke implicated.
- Charles Stross

Will this do (lazy writer asked)?
- Ken Macloed

Cryonics: Disney thawed. Mickey gnawed. Omigawd.
- Eileen Gunn

WIRED stimulates the planet: Utopia blossoms!
- Paul Di Filippo

Clones demand rights: second Emancipation Proclamation.
- Paul Di Filippo

MUD avatars rebel: virtual Independence Day.
- Paul Di Filippo

We crossed the border; they killed us.
- Howard Waldrop

H-bombs dropped; we all died.
- Howard Waldrop

Your house is mine: soft revolution.
- Howard Waldrop

Warskiing; log; prop in face.
- Howard Waldrop

The Axis in WWII: haiku! Gesundheit.
- Howard Waldrop

Salinger story: three koans in fountain.
- Howard Waldrop

Finally, he had no more words.
- Gregory Maguire

There were only six words left.
- Gregory Maguire

In the beginning was the word.
- Gregory Maguire

Commas, see, add, like, nada, okay?
- Gregory Maguire

Weeping, Bush misheard Cheney’s deathbed advice.
- Gregory Maguire

Corpse parts missing. Doctor buys yacht.
- Margaret Atwood

Starlet sex scandal. Giant squid involved.
- Margaret Atwood

Finally, shockingly true to his personality, Arthur C. Clarke wrote one that's too long and then refused to shorten it:

God said, 'Cancel Program GENESIS.' The universe ceased to exist.
- Arthur C. Clarke

Fri, 20 Oct 2006 04:59:58 GMT

Okay, here's the deal:

From now on my handle is Shax Davis. That takes care of the unfamiliarity issue: People already know me as Shax, and it stays close enough to my current name that I won't vanish into obscurity. What do you think?

Sat, 14 Oct 2006 01:01:29 GMT

Okay, here's my problem:

I want to change my online handle again. I used to go by the name of Shax but I changed to my real name because I was sick of pseudonyms. I kind of regret it now and I want to change again - not back to Shax, but possibly to another real-life-sounding name as yet unchosen.

Why? Well, the fact is, I'm getting somewhat popular now and if you google my name, my fanfics come up. That's not something I really go around telling people that I do. And I'm looking into selling my fiction, so I'll be getting my name out there for different reasons. It's like when you're building a resume for work, there's some information that you include and some that you leave out.

"So, Mr Davis, what makes you think you'd make a good insurance banker?"
"Well, as you can see, I played one in the school musical..."

My conundrum is this - last time I changed my handle, I lost a chunk of my fanbase. A lot of them found me again but a lot of them didn't. This time around, I have a bigger fanbase. How can I do this properly? I want to alienate as few readers as possible while covertly changing my name to something else. The plan I have at the moment is to "phase out" my current name - open another account and link to it from my current one, wait a while, then move my fics from one to the other, wait a while, then delete the first account. And just post the notice friggin' everywhere.

I'm open to suggestion, though. I don't know how often people watch my account.

Fri, 06 Oct 2006 07:07:42 GMT

I clocked university.

The end guy was hard.

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 13:00:09 GMT

I'm back. Got my internet transferred to my new house.

My Mum's been transferred to the middle of Australia for a year as part of her job, and so I've moved into her house to look after it. That means I'm living by myself for the year. And I DON'T HAVE A STOVE!! >.< I was going to teach myself how to cook, but this limits my options to anything I can prepare using a weak little portable hotplate. Oh well. There's always McDonalds.

So yeah. Has anything happened on the internets while I was gone?

Sat, 16 Sep 2006 05:57:15 GMT

I can hear the thundrous sound of nobody wondering where I've gone, but I thought I'd tell you anyway.

I've moved house and there's been some problems getting my internets ported over to the new place. It's all taken care of now, and I'll be wired again hopefully next Wednesday. Ah, internet, how I have missed thee.

We might as well go ahead and get all the "Who are you again?" jokes out of the way now!